My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize