Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
