i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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