thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
