omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
