Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize