Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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