I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
