She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
