maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
