You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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