I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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