highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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