who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
