I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.