I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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