so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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