my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize