tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
