i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
