Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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