turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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