you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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