The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
