Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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