I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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