All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
