ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
