This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize