you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
