i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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