Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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