why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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