new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
