We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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