he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
