If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
