I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
