that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
