Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
im on a boat
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