Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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