If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
being pregnant is like rehab
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
