this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize