yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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