marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
