I hate your face
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
