Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize