Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
