You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
