yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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