Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
