He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
