it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
