it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
