Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
