respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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