dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
