nut hugger
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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