Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
