i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
