discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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