everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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