i was born a porn star she said
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
